Following Jesus

Would the disciples have followed Jesus if they knew what was going to happen? 

During the Easter Season, I often find myself giving the disciples a hard time. Jesus is risen! Don’t they get it? But throughout the Gospel readings these past few weeks, we hear over and over again about how the disciples hid away in fear in the upper room. And that doesn’t really sound like a people who get the Resurrection. How many times does Jesus have to appear to the disciples for them to go out to the world and proclaim the Good News? 

And yet, I’m not that different from the disciples in one sense: I have seen these things, I have heard them proclaimed, and I still don’t always get it. What does it mean to go and make disciples of all nations? 

In a recent conversation, a friend mentioned that sometimes we tend to try and hold God hostage. Even as we see the wonderful news of God’s love for us, we say in return that ‘I will love you when I get this job, or when my son converts, or when my family member is healed.’ Father Mahon shared this same sentiment with us last weekend in his homily. We are faced with all the  information of the Gospel and the Resurrection, and even so, we try to control our yes to God’s will. How easy it is to do an action when we know that action fits into our plan.  

Here is where we can learn from the disciples. When Jesus said, “Come, follow me,” they didn’t necessarily know the whole scope of the plan. Somewhere in that moment of saying yes to God’s will, they saw a good that was so precious they were willing to let go of all they knew. Certainly, during their journey with Jesus they tried to take control of the situation, tried to see Jesus as someone who fit into their own idea of the future. But in the end, their fear and uncertainty come because God surprised them all beyond the plans and ideas of their minds.  

I am reminded of this letting go for my own life. I know that God loves me and has this beautiful life to offer in Him. But how do I let go of what I know and cling to regarding my plans, my future, the way I see myself living in this world? Remember, when the disciples began to preach the good news to the world, their lives were the opposite of glamorous. I might not be called to the same extreme experience of going to prison and dying for the faith, but there are moments of inconvenience in the everyday, moments when I think I’m just too busy to talk to this person, or the schedule doesn’t allow for me to change my plans. These are moments of surprise, moments when I can say yes in the uncertainty to God’s plan for me.