Saint Francis, Reconciliation, and Mercy

Have you ever felt yourself struggling to let go of a sin, even though you have received the Sacrament of Reconciliation and know your sins have been forgiven? On a recent pilgrimage to Italy, Terese and I encountered Saint Francis of Assisi’s personal struggle to let go of his past life and embrace God’s mercy and love.

We traveled to the Rieti Valley northeast of Rome, and discovered four sites that were so important to Francis, from his original creation of the first Christmas creche at Greccio to writing the Franciscan’s Final Rule at Fontecolombo and his composition of the ‘Canticle of the Creatures’ at La Forresta. His fourth sanctuary in the Santa Valle (Holy Valley) was Poggio Bustone, and we were both struck by how critical this site was for Francis in his journey of faith.

It had been two years since Francis experienced his dramatic conversion in 1206, and he had already done so much good, from caring for leper colonies to rebuilding churches. His preaching of God’s love throughout the area of Assisi had attracted his first followers. But despite his conversion, Francis was still struggling with the memory of his earlier life and thinking how deeply he must have disappointed God. Francis had received the Sacrament of Reconciliation and knew he had been forgiven, and yet he was still not able to let go of these painful memories. His heart still ached. It was during this time that Francis and his followers made their way to the Rieti Valley. Francis was filled with questions: Where was he going? What was he doing? What could he do about the mistakes in his early life?

With this mix of searching and worry, Francis and his six brothers arrived at a cluster of buildings known as Poggio Bustone, a beautiful site owned by the Benedictines deep in the forested hills. Despite his inner struggles, Francis maintained his outward cheerfulness by greeting everyone he met with “Good morning, good people!”. Ever since his conversion at San Damiano in Assisi and his literal response to God’s command to “go and rebuild my church”, Francis knew that God was expecting something of him, but he was being held back by the memory of his past life. As was typical of Francis, he sought a quiet place far from the crowds where he could be close to God. He took refuge in a cave high above Poggio Bustone and he prayed for mercy and light.

Then, an angel visited Francis and showed him that by focusing so much on his painful memories, he had turned inward and had immersed himself in darkness. The angel of God enlightened Francis that he had truly been forgiven. This encounter released Francis, and he was finally able to let go of the weight of his sins and know with certainty he had been absolved through the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

The Lord showed his mercy to Francis and clothed him with his love. Because Francis had been liberated and was full of peace, his heart was made pure and he was able to go forward and fulfill God’s will in his life. As Francis emerged from the cave and came back down the hill, he invited his brothers to preach to all creatures that “God alone is good. Fear and honor the Lord God, the highest!” Francis was at peace.

I have always been devoted to Saint Francis, and he is my Confirmation saint. And despite all I knew of his life, our visit to the Rieti Valley brought new surprises, especially at Poggio Bustone. Saint Francis’ experiences 800 years ago are a beautiful reminder of how God’s love and mercy are waiting for each of us through the Sacraments. It is in the Sacraments that we are invited to encounter God in a deeply personal way, to be renewed and strengthened in our journey of faith, and to rest in his love.

Where sin abounded, grace abounded all the more (Rom 5:20)